Life and Times of a Preacher Boy

It Wasn't My Fault!

2011-01-07T15:00:00.000-08:00

Genesis 3:12, (Adam being confronted by God about eating the fruit) "The man replied, 'It was the woman YOU gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it." (emphasis mine)

I read that and instantly the Lord convicted my heart. A little background: the Lord has really been dealing with my heart lately about how much I think of myself (meaning = I'm vastly too prideful..."heady", as some would say, is but one demonstration of that.). Anyway, it is so easy for me to be confronted with obvious sin in my life and my response far too often is to BLAME SOMEONE ELSE! That way I remain guilt free, and sinless. How gross! That's exactly what Adam is doing...he blames the woman who gave the fruit to him and God for providing him the woman. How could he be at fault? The bottom line: ADAM ATE THE FRUIT = TYLER NEEDS TO OWN HIS SIN (PRIDE).

My prayer going forward from that verse is that the Lord will continue to convict me of the areas where I am being prideful or simply making excuses for my own problems. I was reminded again from my reading for today: Psalm 5:4-5 "O God, You take no pleasure in wickedness; you cannot tolerate the sins of the wicked. Therefore, THE PROUD may not stand in your presence, for you hate all who do evil." Lord, crush my pride with the weight of Your glory. I want to be in Your presence.

What about you? Is it easy for you to own your mistakes? What are somethings you need to own up to in the eyes of others? Who do you need to ask forgiveness from? What do you need repent of before our great God? I've got much love for you...

Things I Learned at Seminary - God Is In Control

2011-01-05T09:47:00.000-08:00

Whoa...I typed the 'God is in control' line and had a flashback to an old school Twila Paris song...it's a random flashback! Worth a good laugh if you're bored.

Anyway, I surely learned that. This is actually something that I realized going to, going through, and finishing up seminary. It all began way back in 2007 as I was trying to decide where I was going to seminary...some of you know the story. I decided I wanted to go to Beeson Divinity School. I didn't get in. Then I decided I wanted to go to a seminary extension in Nashville and get a cool job in a church to work while I was taking my classes. I completely had my life planned out. To make a long story short, once I bought in to the Lord's plan, I realized my plan wasn't what God wanted, so I ended up in New Orleans.

Throughout seminary I was faced with some of the hardest semesters of my life: academic rigors, socially, responsibility lessons, relationships, loss, stress, and the like. My seminary years were brutally difficult, and I think seminary is designed to be that way.

Then I graduated, and now I find myself moving to Immanuel Baptist Church in Lexington, KY to be the Student Pastor. This situation seems like the Lord has completely hand crafted it for me, and I'm very excited about it.

How is all of this possible? I'm completely convinced that there is no way all of these things come together by any means other than there is a God who is in control. I'm convinced. God wanted me in New Orleans, and He closed a door and opened my eyes to lead me there. God had extra-curricular lessons he wanted me to learn, and He delivered them. God had a place for me upon graduation, and He made this church opportunity work out to send me there. I could go into vast amounts of detail, but I'm sure that would bore you to death. Suffice it to say that all this is not possible without God having a plan, and working it out in my life.

It is a quite popular verse, but I've seen it played out time and time again in my life: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11. I'm confident that the Lord is in control. What about you? Reflect on some things that have occurred in your own life! Can you see how the Lord was steering that? Can you see that God was working out His plan and the He was in control of those moments? I know it is a simple truth, but it is a lesson that sticks out to me from my time at seminary. Have you trusted that Jesus is enough and God is in control? I've got much love for you...

Interruption of Unstarted Series - aka HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2011-01-01T08:47:00.000-08:00

So I said be watching for 'things I learned at seminary' blog posts. Continue to do so, but it is time for the obligatory New Years Eve post. Happy New Year of 2011 to you, by the way!

2010 has finished up. What happened in 2010? Here are my highlights:
1) Grew in some relationships with great people
2) Spent lots of time praying about what 2011 (specifically what life after seminary would look like)
3) Worked with an unbelievably solid team to communicate the Gospel at camp
4) Saw my brother graduate and begin a job with the US State Dept.
5) Saw my dad recognize an obstacle and seek help.
6) Recognized my own obstacles and my own need for help. God's grace abounded.
7) Watched the Lord hand craft the small details of my life to fit specifically me.
8) I graduated from seminary...now I'm a student apart from school.
9) The Lord provided a job!
10) Found myself ringing in the New Year in ye old Gray, GA for the 2nd straight year.

An update on my 2010: I still haven't arrived. I'm still in progress. 2010 brought some hard life lessons and made me recognize how desperately I'm still in need of grace and I'm still a lover of community. So how about you? How was your 2010?

2011: What are my hopes? Well there are many. But I can tell you what my prayer for 2011 was/is: I pray that the Lord will grant me wisdom and favor. I know that I love the Lord, but for 2011, I pray for grace to trust Him even more. I would LOVE to see the essence of faith spelled out in my life. My friend Ann Dorriety reminded me of a passage that I'm praying will be my life in 2011: I'm sure you've heard the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. Those were the 3 that the king ordered to be thrown into the fiery furnace. They demonstrated legit faith. As they are about to be thrown into the furnace, they are telling the king that they believe the Lord will save them from the fire. That's faith. Faith is belief in something unseen. They didn't know they would be saved, but they had faith that they would. But within faith is always the element that you could be wrong. So facing this uncertainty, here's what these 3 had to say to the face of the king: (Daniel 3:17-18) "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. BUT EVEN IF HE DOESN'T, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." FAITH. These three knew their God could save them, but would He? For clarity's sake, God did save them.

I want the kind of faith in my God so that I pursue the belief in things I cannot see. But even if I get it wrong, I will trust Him to steer my paths and passions. What are YOUR goals for 2011? What do you want to see happen? Hey, I've got much love for you.

A Teaser

2010-12-10T21:06:00.000-08:00

I just need the world to know that I have much thoughts overflowing in my head. Furthermore, I graduate on December 18, 2010 from seminary. If you put the two of those together, a blog explosion is soon to occur. Why am I posting this? This is the teaser. Stay tuned to the blog for the next few weeks. Many things are likely to happen, and many thoughts to be shared.

The series already in the works in my head:
Things I Learned At Seminary

Don't be scared...I don't mean academically. I could not subject you to lectures, nor could I subject myself to that so quickly after graduating. So you better stay tuned!

There's a day coming up (for which we celebrate a major holiday) that some 2000ish years ago completely and radically redefined the course of human history. I hope you're excited about it. I am. Merry Christmas! I've got much love for you...

In Your Arms

2010-11-02T00:28:00.000-07:00

Here are some song lyrics that the Lord has provided to me, and I share with you:

In Your arms is where I want to be
When my world comes crashing down on me
So hold me close, keep me Yours always
Bid me, break me, be my rock
For now and all my days

Whom have I when my heart begins to fail
And sorrow fills the streets
And sounds of death prevail
Jesus is my hope, and I know He stills the wind
So take my very life away, as long as I get Him!

My soul longs for the day when I'll see You face
When sin and death will pass
And tears are wiped away
So let the sky fall down, and earth and cities quake
And I'll say of my God and King
Lord blessed be Your name.

Blessed be, blessed be Your name.
Blessed be Your holy name.

-In Your Arms
By: The Church at Brook Hills/Mandi Mapes

My Hiding Place

2010-09-29T13:21:00.000-07:00

It never ceases to blow my mind how the Lord beats the Truth of His Word and who He is into my life. Here's the passage that has really been a reality in my life:

(Jesus speaking) "I have told you [my teachings to you], so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." - John 16:33

There are 2 noteworthy things from this verse that I've been focusing on:

1. Trouble is coming. We will all face difficulties in life. Maybe you're in the middle of those difficulties right now. Maybe you're just coming out of difficulties. The reality of this moment, is that wherever you stand in relation to trouble, there will be more trouble coming. Trouble, the faith shattering events that in the moment seem too big to process or handle, is coming.

2. IN CHRIST we may have peace. Why? He overcame the world! He has been through earthly trouble, and he has overcome! What exciting news for us as believers!? In the midst of the most difficult times in our lives, we can find a treasure, a hiding place, and take refuge in Christ through our relationship with the One who has overcome: Jesus Christ.

So thankful...

I have been in the midst of a hurricane of thought lately. Not all of my thoughts necessarily revolve around negative things, but I feel like it is a hurricane nonetheless. Here are the abridged lyrics to a song that has been communicating the truth of John 16:33 to me:

"I will exalt You...You are my God!

Because You're with me...I will not fear!

My hiding place, my safe refuge, my treasure, Lord, You are!

My friend and King, anointed One, most holy!"

I am so desperately thankful that the Lord is my place to hide for the trouble of life. Jesus is my safe refuge to escape the discouragement of the enemy. Jesus reminds me that He is my treasure in this life and for my eternity. Now this doesn't mean my circumstances just automatically disappear or simply vanish. What does it mean? It means in Christ (my hiding place, my refuge, my treasure), I have peace. Peace in the storm. Contentment in trusting the Lord's plan. Faith that God is still bigger, still victorious and still in control. I have completely been hiding out in the Lord lately, and the peace He has provided has been so needed.

What about you? Have you been able to experience Jesus as your hiding place? He wants to be your safe refuge. I pray that you will or have experienced Him in this way.

I got much love for you...

Put Your Clothes On or Dress For Work!

2010-09-27T12:45:00.000-07:00

I must confess that at the idea of this post, the first thought that popped into my mind was when one my best friends, Allen Tate, busted my brother making his then daily nude streak from the bathroom to his bedroom to get dressed for the day. Andrew's response in the moment, was to pause for a moment in the run and simply say, "AH!", and then proceeded into his room. This has absolutely nothing to do with this post, other than Andrew should have put his clothes on! (freebie)

My journey with the Lord this semester has been an exciting one to say the least. I completely and totally feel like I have been in a whirlwind of thought processes, some good circumstances and some bad. The cool part about being in this hurricane of life is that the Lord got me ready for it just before it happened. Here's the quick story:

I got back down to seminary to begin this semester and begin to really press into the Lord about where He was leading me upon my graduation in December. I felt like I was getting no answer. No specifics. No leanings. Nothing. This was mildly frustrating because I wanted to be preparing. I wanted to start making plans. I wanted to be in control. (Take notice of how me-centric those sentences are!) I decided I would begin reading through Jeremiah. It was in the first chapter that the Lord communicated what He wanted from me for this stage of my life.

In Jeremiah 1, we find Jeremiah trying to discern his call from God. God reveals to J that His desire is that J become a prophet. J's response? "Ah!" He begins the reasons why that can't be his call: he can't speak, he's a youth...blah blah blah. J wasn't sure that God had dialed up the right man in that moment. In Jeremiah's discovery of his call, the Lord said this to him as Jeremiah waited for things to begin to happen:

"But you, DRESS YOURSELF FOR WORK. Arise, and say to them everything I command you. Don't be dismayed." The Lord goes on to let Jeremiah know that He's in control and concludes with, "They will fight against you, but they shall not prevail against you, for I am with you, declares the Lord, to deliver you." (Jeremiah 1:17-19)

How cool is that moment? The Lord let's J know that everything is going to be alright because the Lord's got J's back. Did you catch the thing the Lord asked Jeremiah to do? Put your clothes on J! Dress for work! God asked Jeremiah to get ready because through Him, Jeremiah was going to DO WORK for God's glory! So what does this mean for me and you? It means that whether you're in 'go mode', or you're waiting for the Lord's clarity, dress yourself for work! Be ready! Be in the Word. Be in prayer. The Lord's going to do work through His people, and if you're ready, you're usable! Put your work clothes on!

Now that I'm in the middle of the "hurricane" and "chaos" of a million things running through my brain, I realize why I had moments where I was struggling to find where God wanted me. He wanted me to continue preparing myself for the time when my work was to come. What about you? Are you dressed for work? Or are you experiencing frustration or confusion about what is next? Follow the Lord's advice to Jeremiah and myself: Put your clothes on! Dress yourself for work! ...cause it is coming!

I got much love for you...

What I Learned at Camp #3: I'm a Sinner

2010-09-05T18:27:00.000-07:00

For the final installment of the "What I Learned at Camp" Series (keep in mind, this is certainly NOT everything I learned at camp, just the Big 3), I would like to focus on my reminder of how ugly my heart really is.

After my team's 2nd week of camp, we had an opportunity to do a little staff worship on the weekend, which I would say that staff worship was something the majority of the people on the team LOVED having the opportunity to do. Well this particular staff worship our staff was focusing on how far the Lord had to reach to redeem us and adopt us into His family because of the separation all of our individual sin had caused. I shared, during the beginning part of worship, Psalm 51. This is David's Psalm of lament/repentance after the whole Bathsheba fiasco. From that point forward, my prayer for myself was that God would create and continue to develop a "pure heart and...a steadfast spirit within me." I no longer wanted to have a complacent attitude toward sin, including the "small, not-that-big-of-a-deal sins". So I begged the Lord to take me to that place by His grace.

Well the Lord surely began to work in my life and bring to the forefront of my being the reality that I very much am a sinner. I very much engaged in the very things God calls me not to, whether deliberately or without recognition, and I engaged in a plethora of these things regularly...much to my chagrin. There was one incident in particular that really shook me up though, and this was a lesson that a church group leader helped teach me. I'm fairly certain her intent was not to teach me this lesson, instead just to complain about any and everything that came her way this particular week of camp. But she taught me nonetheless.

She went right after the heart of that camp pastor. How could anyone want to criticize someone who looks like that when he is preaching the Word? (shout out to my teammate Collin Spindle for taking such a horrific shot of me) But she criticized the very core of my heartbeat behind proclaiming the Gospel. What was my reaction? Well of course it was to love and forgive her and forget about it! Except...that's not at all what happened. I began to look inside my heart and realized how filthy it was. The Lord brought the fullness of how sinful my heart was to my mind in that moment. And I was rocked to the core. I was a pastor for crying out loud*! I'm not supposed to be sinful! (*NOTE: EXTREME SARCASM)

Here's what I learned: the Lord reached a long way into the pit of sin and selfishness to rescue me from the wrath that was due Tyler Crosson because of the sin in my life. Why does that matter? Well it was the full recognition that I MUST live my life in way that A)reflects the fact that the Lord has reached that far in my life for my rescue and B) reflects the fact that if the Lord is willing to reach that far for this kid, He's willing to do it for anybody else that desires to make Him the boss of their life, in light of what Jesus did on the cross. What about you? Have you allowed the Lord to rescue you? Have you recognized the depth of how far He stooped to pull YOU and ME out of the pit?

Or how about this: I do all the talking on this blog. Why don't YOU tell me something the Lord has been teaching YOU of late. You know I've got much love for you...

What I Learned at Camp #2: My Role/My Gifts

2010-08-25T07:42:00.001-07:00

One thing I recognized very quickly at camp this summer is that I had been called to pastor/shepherd a team that was further along spiritually than I was. Therefore, I felt insanely overwhelmed to the task to which I had been called. As if that wasn't bad enough, I realized very quickly in the summer that the Lord had pretty fantastic plans to do work this summer, and I had been called to be a part of the proclamation of His truth during that process. My feelings of being overwhelmed grew rapidly. The reality set in that I was most assuredly a part of something that was so much bigger than myself. Now let me clarify that I never assumed this summer would be about me, that it would be easy, that it would be something that my team could just "make happen", but I did not fully recognize the task to which we had been called to walk worthy of. (never end a sentence with a preposition) I felt like a big turkey in a sea of people who were living their lives on purpose for the sake of something that was bigger than any of us could really grasp.

I was on my face before the Lord trying to fathom why I had been called to this task. Furthermore, I was trying to figure out what I had to even contribute to such a phenomenal team and overwhelming mission. The Lord showed Himself, and I recognized my humble role. And it scares me. What was my conclusion? Well honestly I'm still processing through that, but here's my start:

What if I am gifted to preach and teach? Oh my. The thought terrifies me. Seriously. But what if I really do have that gift? What if the Lord has gifted and wired me with the ability to communicate His Truth to His people? Oh boy. I thought from my first summer of being camp pastor (last summer) that everybody told the camp pastor that he was gifted at what he did in order to encourage and uplift him because those comments are very much encouraging and uplifting. This summer I had 4 weeks of adults that I had gotten the opportunity to work with before, as well as the 3 weeks of the ones I hadn't worked with before, that were still telling me the same thing. But this time they were telling me about the marked improvement displayed in my life/preaching, as well as the evidence of my being gifted with this "skill".

My role in the grand scheme of things, in the midst of something so much bigger than myself is to "be uniquely me". This summer that meant to preach with passion the very things I had spent time with the Lord wrestling over. Moreover, this could very well impact the rest of my life, as I continue to exercise this gift. Preaching/Teaching? The thought literally terrifies me. Here's what I know for certain:

I want to be a part of something so much bigger than myself that it can only be described and explained by God. I also know that requires sacrifice and walking worthy. So this summer (and still in process) I will make an effort to be uniquely me in my life, and do what He calls me to do, which could very well involve regular preaching and regular teaching. And I will trust the Lord to do the rest because you all know me...this could get scary! I'm thankful to be called a servant of the Most High God, and to bask in the love of Father, as He has poured it out on us. And I got much love for you...

What I Learned at Camp #1: Unity

2010-08-23T20:53:00.000-07:00

I just finished up the most phenomenal summer of my life to date. I worked with a fantastic team, and the Lord surely rocked my world both through my team and through my dealings with the Lord. I intend to get through these next few blogs by trying to encompass with my words what I learned from the Lord. So this first post is about my team, and the unity we experienced.

We were a team united around Christ, His ministry and His people. This team was comprised of a phenomenal group of people that collectively loved the Lord more than any other group I've been a part of or known. So what did I learn from the Lord? Well I really do believe this was a picture of what the church was intended to look like. We, as the church, are called to love, serve and communicate the Gospel with all that we have. Now while we were paid to do a job this summer, I truly believe that this opportunity was more than a job for this team. This job was our calling from the Lord, and I believe that we walked worthy of our calling this summer. I'm thankful that I've seen what intentional ministry is designed to look like, and that these people loved the Lord enough to execute His purpose. It is my prayer that I will continue to live intentionally like my team demonstrated. I am completely thankful for the opportunity I was given to try to pastor this team. I look forward to seeing what each of them goes on to do in the ministry of the Lord.

Hopefully I will bring you some more posts about my summer soon. I got much love for you...

It is CAMP TIME!

2010-06-01T07:35:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentleman. My favorite time of the year has arrived: the time for summer camp! I will once again have an opportunity to pastor a CentriKid camp staff and preach the Gospel to kids in grades 3-6! I'm rolling with CK7, and we're surely going to have an amazing time. I will be gone until August 8th, with very likely few posts in between, so YOU be sure to send me some snail mail while I'm working this summer. It is amazing the encouragement that is received from a piece of snail mail. Here are my addresses:

June 10-18:
CentriKid Staffer Tyler Crosson
60 West Fulbright Ave.
Walnut Ridge, AR 72476

June19-July 2:
CentriKid Staffer Tyler Crosson
900 N Grand Ave
Suite 6J
Sherman, TX 75090

July 3-9:
CentriKid Staffer Tyler Crosson
PO Box 886
Talladega, AL 35161

July 10-August 6:
CentriKid Staffer Tyler Crosson
9621 Frostown Rd
Middletown, MD 21769

These are my locations of service this summer. Looking forward to hear about how the Lord is working through you and in your life this summer. I got much love for you!

Starbucks Thoughts

2010-05-04T17:06:00.000-07:00

I just finished Donald Miller's book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. I enjoyed the book, but it took me until the end to truly appreciate it. The following are a couple excerpts from the book, that provided a reminder of great truth, about marriage and life, for my life:

(this is another author's response to the question "is there one true love for every person?" and then Donald Miller's commentary following)
"[the other author] essentially said no. And she said that with her husband sitting right there in the audience. She said she and her husband believed they were a cherished prize for each other, and they would probably drive any other people mad. But then she said something I thought was wise. She said she had married a guy, and he was just a guy. He wasn't going to make all her problems go away, because he was just a guy. And that freed her to really love him as a guy, not as an ultimate problem solver. And because her husband believed she was just a girl, he was free to really love her too. Neither needed the other to make everything okay. They were simply content to have good company through life's conflicts. I thought that was beautiful.....All of this may sound depressing to you, but I don't mean it to be. I've lived some good stories now, and those stories have improved the quality of my life. But I've also let go of the idea things will ever be made perfect, at least while I'm walking around on this planet. I've let go of the idea that this life has a climax....And the thing is, it works. When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are. And when you stop expecting material possessions to complete you, you'd be surprised at how much pleasure you get in material possessions. And when you stop expecting God to end all your troubles, you'd be surprised how much you like spending time with God....Do I still think there will be a day when all wrongs are made right, when our souls find the completion they are looking for? I do. But when all things are made right, it won't be because of some preacher or snake-oil salesman or politician or writer making promises in his book. I think, instead, this will be done by Jesus. And it will be at a wedding. And there will be a feast."

(back to Tyler Crosson's thoughts) I'm not entirely sure why I'm posting this, other than the fact that I was in Starbucks today from about 3p-6:30p(ish) and I felt overwhelmingly struck by this truth. I hope that you allow yourself to marinate on all this. Maybe Miller's words are just hitting me where I am right now...but maybe you can see some truth through this as well.

I got much love for you...

I'm Proof

2010-03-31T21:17:00.000-07:00

The week leading up to Easter has once again proven to be a great season of growth in my walk with the Lord. Obviously as this momentous day approaches, the day of celebration that my Savior is no longer dead and lifeless, the more I dwell on that fact and my complete unworthiness to call Him my Savior and "gain from His reward". But I digress. I have a great friend that sent me some love in mail today as a celebration of this day, and in the box, she included some Truth for my life. The Lord proceeded to master me from that point on. Here's the verse she sent me:

"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners-of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life." 1 Timothy 1:15-16

What perfect timing for this verse being in the middle of Resurrection week? The Lord immediately reminded me of how much I do not deserve this eternal life. You can ask my friends...they can tell you how absurd I really am and the sin that too often dominates my life. Furthermore, ask the Lord. He can tell you how many times I've grieved His heart with my sin. I really am such a sinner, and so much in need of my Savior. I am utterly confident of that. There is good news to this story, and it is clearly demonstrated during Resurrection Week. Jesus hung on the cross to pay the very debt that I cannot. He died, but that wasn't Game Over. Because He rose! My soul is overjoyed at the thought.

Furthermore in this verse, it spells out why Jesus has anything to do with me. Deep, deep love. If He was willing to be the sacrifice for my sin...to rescue this kid from the punishment that I've earned, He's willing to do the same for you. Through my rescue, both Paul (who wrote this passage from first Timothy) and myself can claim the fact that Jesus is using us as an example of his unlimited patience.

I'm living proof that if Christ would do such a thing for me, He will do so for you. The reason He displays this unlimited patience is love. Deep, unexplainable, incomprehensible love. That's the bottom line. That's why the pain, the mocking, the beating, the torture, the death. Love. For me and for you. Doesn't make sense? I agree. I can't understand it. But I'm completely confident that it is truth in my life, and it could be truth in yours.

"He rose. Jesus, He rose.
My life's been forgiven. This world holds no power.
He rose. Jesus, He rose.
My life's been redeemed. This prisoner set free.
Death where's your sting? Cause He rose."
-He Rose by Jeff Johnson.

Speechless. Happy Easter because He is risen! I got much love for you...

You Are Here.

2010-03-30T12:17:00.000-07:00

YOU ARE HERE:

I am 25 years old. I have a BA in Psychology and am one semester away from an M.Div. in Christian Education (whatever that means). When I graduate I will be 26 years old. I have good credit. I have great and very encouraging friends and family. I have a passion for loving and connecting with people.
I have no debt. No wife/kids. Very little money. No strings attached.

What does this mean? It means that once I graduate in December, my life is WIDE OPEN. Intimidating? Slightly. Exciting? Completely. I will literally be in a position that the possibilities are seemingly endless for me to move on to whatever is next.

I haven't posted recently. A)I've been insanely busy traveling for preaching opps or pleasure. B)It was a busy month for school assignments. C)There is a girl that I'm completely fond of. D)I've been trying to wrap my head around what this next year is going to look like for me. While all of those keep me busy, trying to understand or figure out what an infinite God is planning and scheming for me to do, is trumping any other thoughts I may be having.

God, here's my future. Do what You do.

The Weight of Sin...or lack thereof

2010-02-16T21:45:00.000-08:00

My journey with the Lord has landed me reading through the book of 1 Kings currently. From that passage, the Lord really rocked my world with a thought tonight...interesting how when one prays for the Holy Spirit to speak through His word, He will, huh? Anyway, in chapter 11, I noticed an all too often commonality in my life with the life of then King Solomon. Solomon decided to start taking wives from "foreign women" (ESV translation). Man, I do that all the time!

...

But seriously, his taking wives from "foreign women," meant that he was taking lightly the commands of God and engaging in sin. Solomon did not think these wives would do any harm. He did not continue to place the true weight of sin on the situation. You see, God specifically instructed the Israelites not to marry these people because He knew that their pagan ways would distract and lead the Israelites away from Him. Sure enough, that very thing happened to THE wise King Solomon. Solomon treated his sin lightly.

In that moment, Solomon did NOT understand the weight of his sin. Unfortunately too often in my own life, I do not truly see sin as what it is. Filthy, ugly, despicable, grotesque, complete disobedience, lack of respect, lack of trust, self-centered, etc. Sin separates me from God. What is the result of sin? DEATH. Period. The wages of sin is death. Does that mean I'm going to immediately die a physical death as a result of my sin? Unlikely. But, it is a complete disgrace to my God. For Solomon it resulted in God allowing adversaries to rise up against him and the nation of Israel and be successful...because of his sin.

God does not take sin lightly. Too often in my life, I do. That's terrible and I'm embarrassed. Moreover, I am very good at justifying my sin, especially the "no big deal" sins. How ridiculous can I be? The thing that I was confronted with today was that there are consequences for sin. No questions asked. No matter how big or small, my sin will be dealt with and it will lead to death. Thank the Lord for His grace and Christ's sacrifice on the cross for the punishment of my sin.

I suppose my challenge to myself and you is to see sin as sin. In its full disgustingness (take that word to the bank). We must recognize the severity of our sin, and not take it lightly, even the "no big deal" ones. Getting a firm grasp on our sin would most certainly make the Gospel that much more valuable to us! God reached down a long way to pull this sinner from the pits. I'm thankful for His continued display of grace in my life.

Father, help me to understand the weight of my sin. Help me to understand how horrific it is to you. Help me to not take lightly sin in my life. Help me to not stand for it, not support it, and not settle for it. Help me to see sin as You do. Father, save me from the punishment of my sin. Thank you for the grace that you have provided for me and for the sacrifice that Christ was on the cross. Forgive me for where I fall short, and help me to stand back up and pursue holiness!

What about you? I hope you have a better grasp of the weight of sin that I too often do in my life.

...'Till He returns or calls me home, here in the power of Christ, I stand.

I got much love for you...

From Point A to B or The Space in Between

2010-02-04T08:35:00.001-08:00

I turned in a paper this week that was very difficult for me to complete. It is not uncommon for me to struggle with some of my papers in seminary over the content or the emotion it elicits from me, but this is the first paper to give me trouble of its kind. The paper was not designed to force me to deal with and work through some of my weaknesses in ministry, but it surely did. I am so glad to finally have gotten that paper finished! This is what was confirmed to me about myself and my ministry:

Doing the Point A and doing the Point B are no problem for me, and I enjoy them. The space in between those points is not part of my strengths. What are those points? I'm glad you asked. Point A is the dreaming or visioning aspect of ministry. Every ministry needs a plan. We must be in tune to what and how God is moving among us and how He desires us to respond and be involved with Him. Dreaming and "casting" a vision is a way that He communicates, at least to me, what He is up to. I can see where He is leading and where He desires us (myself and those I'm with). I love doing that. I love seeing what the Lord is up to! This is Point A.

Point B is about doing, living and loving. Point B is what all the efforts of the dreaming and vision play out. I love getting to know people. I love interacting with them. I love hearing their stories. I love to engage them. I love to connect with them (in spite of my shy nature). Point B is a fantastic place for me to dwell because I love being a part of the process of walking life and being with people.

This paper was completely about the space in between points A and B. The planning, the paperwork, the administration, the organization and the preparation in order to connect these two points. I'm not a fan of it! In fact, I do not even remotely enjoy it. The project was to design and implement a church and community ministry. I loved the dreaming up aspect of the paper. I loved trying to figure out ways to meet people's needs. I loved thinking about the doing of the ministry. Meeting the needs. Walking life with those my "ministry" was going to reach. Unfortunately the paper was all the details in between. About 1-2 pages of the 15 page project was the part that I enjoy. The rest was the space in between.

So what did I learn? Well I do still dislike writing papers, which probably comes as no surprise to you. I also learned that I need to be diligent to surround myself with people who are strong in doing the space in between. Two people that come to mind for me: Jason Dorriety and Bud Harlan. I think the time I was able to serve with both of them was phenomenal because we complemented each other (me with Jason and me with Bud). I am not saying that either of them are weak in the Dreaming/Vision or Doing aspects, I'm just saying that are definitely good at the administrative stuff. I'm so desperately thankful for the Lord's allowing me to work with them in the capacities that I did, and I would LOVE to be able to be teamed with them again in some form or fashion.

So what are your weaknesses in ministry? Who are your compliments? I am definitely NOT saying that this is my only ministerial weakness! I'm sure you could name a few about me yourself, and I can absolutely guarantee that Jason and Bud could write a dissertation on it, with love of course. My point is this paper really made me realize that it is most assuredly important to surround ourselves in ministry with people that compliment us. People that can be strong where we are weak. Hopefully this was something to think about...maybe?

I got much love for you...

The Saints Have Come Awake

2010-01-26T08:58:00.000-08:00

Unless you've had your head in the sand, I'm going to assume that you have heard that the mighty New Orleans Saints have won the NFC Championship and a spot in the Super Bowl. The is the first time in the Saints' franchise history that they have gotten this far. Historically, the Saints have been terrible. Absolutely terrible. I have heard stories about people putting bags over their heads when they attended the games out of shame. I have also heard that people used to simply put their Saints tickets in between their windshield and windshield wipers offering people to take them so they didn't have to watch the embarrassment that WAS the Saints.

*I confess that this post is going to take a seminary boy turn from here on out...bail if you must, but you've been warned.* I've told you before that the Lord uses some bizarre things to communicate to me, and currently He is using the Saints and Matt Maher's music. One thing that strikes me as I pull for the Saints, is that, as Christians, we are all called to be representatives for Christ....through Christ, we are saints. Not perfect, by any means, but we have been sanctified through Christ, thus we are saints. So every time I watch or hear about the New Orleans Saints, the idea of me and you being saints is at least present in my brain.

The problem is, I believe that we as saints, are acting much like the New Orleans Saints of old. We almost seem to be asleep. Not much going on. BORING. This is where Matt Maher comes in. He has a song called "Christ is Risen" and there is a lyric that says, "Christ is risen from the grave, trampling over death by death. Come Awake! Come Awake!" That's a pretty dynamite lyric. (I recommend you check out the song.) Anyway, I took a look at my own life. Does my life exemplify a life that has "come awake" in response to Christ? I want people to look at my life and wholly recognize that I'm awake as a believer! Just like the New Orleans Saints have finally come awake in terms of actually fielding a team and playing football, I hope that my life is lived in a way that would be described as awake!

Psalm 57:7-11
"My heart is steadfast, O God,
my heart is steadfast;
I will sing and make music.

Awake, my soul!
Awake, harp and lyre!
I will awaken the dawn.

I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.

For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens;
let your glory be over all the earth."

Christ is alive! He has defeated death. So let's go! Let's live our lives as if that's the case. Come Awake! Come awake!

I hope this post made sense to you. I know I'm weird, there's no need to remind me.

I got much love for you.

Connections

2010-01-17T21:37:00.001-08:00

One thing that I have been talking with the Lord and my friends much about lately is the idea of connecting with people. Why, you may ask? Good question. Connecting with people is an integral part of ministry. Connecting with people is a way for us as Christians to communicate to a person their worth, my love for them because they're a child of God, and ultimately God's love for them. Here's the catch...I question how well I'm able to do that. If you would have caught me about 2-3 weeks ago, I would have told you that I'm alright at connecting. I have digressed.

Here's what I feel is at the heart of connecting with someone: To connect requires me to give something of myself to a person. If I am truly going to connect with people, then when I leave that moment with that person, said person should walk away with something from me: Truth of scripture, love, money, time, resources, energy, etc. In my giving of myself in that manner, I have hopefully communicated to that person, "you're worth it to me". You're worth my money, my time, my whatever. In that moment of connection I have ideally communicated to that person their worth to me, my love for them, and like I said, ideally and ultimately Christ's love for them.

I have since realized that I have no idea how to do that. I believe that forming a connection can come from the giving of any number of things, thus causing connections to look vastly different at times. My question is, how do you connect? Let me go on to say that I believe that I do connect with people. I have seen it. I have experienced it. I'm just unsure of how it happened. I was a Bible study leader for a dynamite group of 7/8th grade guys a week ago. I believe I connected with all 5 guys in my group. I just don't know what happened. How am I supposed to continue connecting with people if I don't know how to do it? Irony. Furthermore, I have decided that it is because of these connections with people that causes me to have such a hard time leaving people after I've spent a D-Now weekend with them, for example. Our connection, and thus the love formed, has bonded us, and I think that's a good thing, albeit painful.

The enemy has me puzzled on this one, and I have battled some feelings of worthlessness over it. Here's what I do know: This has absolutely led me to the Lord with this prayer: God, I have no idea how to do what you're calling me to do, but here is what I'm confident of...I want You to do some ridiculous things through me for Your glory, so do what You do! I feel like I'm good at being clueless, and I'll gladly maintain that feeling as long as the Lord will work through me. So my prayer today is that the Lord will continue to give me opportunities to connect with and love on folks, so I can continue to beg Him to use me to communicate His truth to them.

How well are you connecting with people? I believe this connection, this formation and display of love, should be at the heart of us, as believers. So are we connecting? Do we truly care enough about people to try to connect? I'm probably not doing a great job.

I got much love for you...

My Heart Breaks for Haiti

2010-01-14T19:38:00.000-08:00

I'm having a very difficult time wrapping my head around the devastation that has happened in Haiti. I cannot fathom it. Utter devastation. My heart breaks. Looking at the pictures....the situation is so sad. I did the best I could by sending some money to Compassion International, but it feels like nothing when I see the pictures and such.

Many of the people there have no hope. Many of the people there no longer have family. No purpose. No reason to live. Then my fortune cookie at the Chinese restaurant I ate at tonight read: "Despair is criminal". That means Haiti is plagued with crime right now. As a Christian my prayer is that the Lord will send agents of mercy and grace to these people. These people need light. Hope. Jesus. Jesus for sure.

Pray for Haiti. This song makes me think about my heart's desire for Haiti. It's by the Robbie Seay Band, called "Shine Your Light On Us":

Oh, my God
Shine Your light on us
That we might live (repeat)

I've been holding on
I've been holding on
All that is inside me
Screams to come back home

Chorus:
If you feel lost
If you feel lost
Sing along
If you feel tired
If you feel tired
Sing along

If you feel lost and tired
This is your song

I've been broken down
I've been broken down
I ain't giving up
Love will come back around

Shine Your light
Shine it down
Let Your rescue come for us, we long to love

And if you feel lost, sing along
And if you feel tired, sing along

God, allow the Haitians to experience an agent of your mercy and grace. Allow that relief worker to shine Your light. Let Your rescue come to Haiti. Let the tired and lost of Haiti sing. Shine Your Light on Haiti, the bruised and broken, the lost, and me. Be glorified. In Jesus name!

L/love never fails

2010-01-03T14:06:00.000-08:00

You should listen to Brandon Heath's song Love Never Fails. Or read the lyrics and then go listen to it:

Love is not proud, Love does not boast
Love after all, Matters the most

Love does not run, Love does not hide
Love does not keep Locked inside

Love is the river that flows through
Love never fails you

Love will sustain, Love will provide
Love will not cease, At the end of time

Love will protect, Love always hopes
Love still believes, When you don’t

Love is the arms that are holding you
Love never fails you

When my heart won’t make a sound
When I can’t turn back around
When the sky is falling down
Nothing is greater than this
Greater than this

Love is right here, Love is alive
Love is the Way, The Truth the Life

Love is the river than flows through
Love is the arms that are holding you
Love is the place you will fly to
Love never fails you
-Love never fails by Brandon Heath

I'm not going to lie, I believe in love. I believe in the change that could happen if we (and by we I am mostly focusing on me) begin to truly live out what love is supposed to be. Unfortunately for myself, I am terrible at love, which is unfortunate because I believe in pursuing and "doing love" to everyone. I would [love] for people, when thinking about me, to think of love...but not my love, Christ's love. Unfortunately, I'm stuck in this cyclical pattern of being bad at but continually trying to love people. No worries though because I'm not giving up on love because Love (capital 'L' because God is love) did not give up on me.

L/love never fails. And I've got much love for you...

Gray Winter Retreat '09

2010-01-02T18:23:00.000-08:00

So here I am again. I realize it has been quite a while, and I have 2 reasons for that: 1) I went through a phase in which I literally had nothing to say and only wanted to reflect and 2) finals and then Christmas travels. But alas, I'm back!

I am still finding out the small details of what my calling in the Lord's story is. Two things that I am utterly confident about: 1) I love to preach and 2) I love getting to know/love on/invest in/laugh with people. I was able to see and do both of those this week. I was fortunate enough to be invited by one of my best friends, Jason W. Dorriety, to come with his youth group to a winter ski retreat in West Virginia. I had the opportunity to do both of the above over the course of the week (Dec. 27-31). I had an absolutely amazing time. The people in Gray, GA already hold a special place in my heart because I had the opportunity to do a brief stint of ministry there in the summer of 2005. There were a bunch of folks on this trip that I didn't know though, so that made it fun as well.

The point of this post is to reflect on something that occurred to me after I left everyone from Gray. I knew from the get-go that having the opportunity to come in and preach for people at D-Nows, retreats, camps, etc. would result in me having to intensely love people and then inevitably leave them quickly. For whatever reason, this trip was the most difficult I have ever experienced. I actually found myself in the airport on my way home having "a moment". I was very sad that I had to leave them....to the point of having "a moment" ("a moment" is my manly way of admitting that I may or may not have shed a tear). It was very hard for me to leave this group.

I don't know what to make of it. I also don't know if that's something I will be able to handle if the Lord continues to afford me opportunities like it. Michael Reid reminded me that because of the quickness of the situation, it was that much more important for me to be focused on communicating Truth to these people. I only have a brief time with them. If they come away thinking about missing me, having not been pointed to Christ, then I will have wasted their time (as I'm sure you're aware, there's nothing that interesting about me!!).

The difficulty in leaving this group was hard for me. I'm having trouble processing it. I love those youth and adults. I'm curious to see what the Lord is going to do in their lives. The frustrating part is that the nature of my "job" in this instance is to not see fruit from my effort. My purpose was to love the mess out of them and hope that through my words, actions, and love they saw and fell in love with Christ and His Truth more.

It's tough. Shout out to the Gray folks. Shout out to the Lord for using this kid to do things for His kingdom. I can't fathom that either, but that's an entirely different post. Hope you all had a fantastic Christmas and New Year. I am excited to see what the Lord has in store for me and you in 2010. I hope you will afford me the honor of walking life with you in this season. I got much love for you...

A Life's Secret

2009-11-14T22:04:00.000-08:00

I am about to let you in on a little secret I've been keeping for some time. This secret comes about from my continuing to pursue the Lord and trying to figure out what His desire for my life is. If you let it get out...well, really nothing would happen. I spent some time in a special spot on campus with the Lord tonight. This is a secret that literally made a strange watery substance form in my eyes tonight (for the record, nothing came out of my eyeballs...just a moisture build up). This is a secret that I am really building up, but I really doubt you'll have much interest. Here it is:

I feel totally incapable of fulfilling the call the Lord has placed on my life. That's it. I feel like there are a bunch of people that I am aware of that would be way better at the call than me. I feel like I am not qualified. I feel like I do not deserve it. I feel incapable. Unworthy. Insufficient. Scared.

I have spent months praying for the Lord to give me a no in regards to pursuing this call. Don't get me wrong, what I believe the Lord is doing in my life, I am extremely passionate and excited about. However, I feel like there was no way that the Lord would be calling me in that direction. So like I said, I have been praying for the Lord to give me a no in response to this. I wasn't praying for His will, I was praying what I thought was His answer. I also tried to make sure He was sure, and He wasn't dialing the wrong line. Once I decided to start praying for the Lord to make clear His will, that's when He called this wannabe to follow the call that is specifically mine.

So what do I do with my feelings of inadequacy? My plan is to rest in the Lord's grace. 2 Corinthians 2:9, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." I'm excited to see what the Lord is going to do with me. What's He doing in and with your life? I got much love for you...

Totally Free, Yet Wholly Surrendered

2009-11-09T15:30:00.001-08:00

There's a line from a Matt Papa song, Open Hands, that has really been the focus of my thoughts today. Here's the whole chorus:

And I lift my hands open wide let the whole world sing
how You've loved, how You died, how you set me free!
Free at last I surrender all I am with open hands

The line that has really been resonating with me:

"Free at last I surrender all I am..."
Christ has freed me from the bondage of sin. First of all, that's ridiculously extravagant because I don't deserve freedom, but I've been granted it. Secondly, the very next few words: I surrender all I am. I think that's really cool. Christ has set me free. So what do I choose to do? Give up everything I am in order to help spread the fame of Christ. I have no greater delight than to have an opportunity to trade in the story of my life, which is finite and (as I'm sure you are aware) less than entertaining, in order that I can be a part of God's story! To me, freedom and surrender typically don't go together. But in relation to Christ's freeing me and my surrender to Him, there's nothing I'd rather do.

Christ gives me freedom, and my decision is to surrender my life to His mission because it is wholly worth it. I just thought that song lyric was cool. Maybe you will too. I got much love for you...

Leviticus

2009-11-05T13:59:00.000-08:00

Let me start by saying this is likely to be my only ever blog on Leviticus. Cherish it.

I just finished up painfully reading through Leviticus. I say painfully because reading a rules and regulations book is not my thing, and Leviticus certainly has a few rules and regs. However, I am thankful for the Lord's leading me through it. I'm also thankful that I'm done reading through it, for now.

Here's what struck me in reading through Leviticus (don't expect anything profound...I'm a simple mind, remember?). As I read through this book and all of what the Lord expected from the Israelites, I was overwhelmed at the Lord's pursuit of a relationship with these people! How did I get that from a book talking about how to offer a burnt offering or how long someone was supposed to be unclean? This is my non-earth shattering answer: the Lord was putting these very rules and regs in place in order that the people would pursue a holy lifestyle. Why were they to pursue a holy lifestyle? Because the Lord their God is/was holy and He desperately wanted to be in relationship with them!

God was informing them of the level of commitment they needed to put forth in order that He could continue to relate to them. He is desperately pursuing a love relationship with these people. That's crazy love! If you'll recall, the Lord is demonstrating this crazy love for a group of people that are TERRIBLE at that kind of crazy love back for Him! As I read through this book, I was reminded of how great is the love of our God. I was humbled by this love. This love continues to seize me.

Not going to lie, I'm thankful that I'm through Leviticus. I'm also thankful for the Lord's love in my life.

Thanks for the overwhelming response to my last post. And by overwhelming response, I mean no response. Thank you. I got much love for you anyway.

My Personality

2009-11-02T16:14:00.000-08:00

So I am continually trying to figure out who I am and who the Lord has shaped and is shaping me to be. I found a personality test that I believe I studied in undergrad as a Psych major, but in getting the results this time, they piqued my interest. So I'm going to post the description of my personality, the ENFJ or the Idealist Portrait of the Teacher. I would LOVE if you would give me your input on what you think about the findings...agree or disagree?

Idealist Portrait of the Teacher (ENFJ)

Even more than the other Idealists, Teachers have a natural talent for leading students or trainees toward learning, or as Idealists like to think of it, they are capable of calling forth each learner's potentials. Teachers (around two percent of the population) are able - effortlessly, it seems, and almost endlessly-to dream up fascinating learning activities for their students to engage in. In some Teachers, this ability to fire the imagination can amount to a kind of genius which other types find hard to emulate. But perhaps their greatest strength lies in their belief in their students. Teachers look for the best in their students, and communicate clearly that each one has untold potential, and this confidence can inspire their students to grow and develop more than they ever thought possible.

In whatever field they choose, Teachers consider people their highest priority, and they instinctively communicate personal concern and a willingness to become involved. Warmly outgoing, and perhaps the most expressive of all the types, Teachers are remarkably good with language, especially when communicating in speech, face to face. And they do not hesitate to speak out and let their feelings be known. Bubbling with enthusiasm, Teachers will voice their passions with dramatic flourish, and can, with practice, become charismatic public speakers. This verbal ability gives Teachers a good deal of influence in groups, and they are often asked to take a leadership role.

Teachers like things settled and organized, and will schedule their work hours and social engagements well ahead of time-and they are absolutely trustworthy in honoring these commitments. Valuing as they do interpersonal cooperation and harmonious relations, Teachers are extraordinarily tolerant of others, are easy to get along with, and are usually popular wherever they are.

Teachers are highly sensitive to others, which is to say their intuition tends to be well developed. Certainly their insight into themselves and others is unparalleled. Without a doubt, they know what is going on inside themselves, and they can read other people with uncanny accuracy. Teachers also identify with others quite easily, and will actually find themselves picking up the characteristics, emotions, and beliefs of those around them. Because they slip almost unconsciously into other people's skin in this way, Teachers feel closely connected with those around them, and thus show a sincere interest in the joys and problems of their employees, colleagues, students, clients, and loved ones.

Famous ENFJs: Mikhail Gorbachev, Oprah Winfrey, Pope John Paul II, Ralph Nader, John Wooden, and Margaret Mead are examples of Teacher Idealists.

Let me know your thoughts. I got much love for you...

Hope

2009-10-27T13:49:00.000-07:00

Lately the idea of hope has really been keeping me thinking. I was sharing with a friend, about a week ago, about how I absolutely love the Lord, and the many things He does for me. One of the things He has given me is hope. When I said that, I caught myself off guard, and I have really been thinking about what the idea of hope means...at least what it means to me. Why is it important to me to have hope? What is my hope in or what am I hoping for? How does Jesus give me hope?

Mock me if you must, but I looked up the definition of hope. Here's how Webster's defines it:
hope - to expect with confidence. Hope is expecting something with full confidence that the desire of my hoping will come to be. Hope is what I get to look forward to. Hope is what drives me on days when I don't feel like it. Hope is what is stored up in me and then used as motivation to keep plodding along this journey when I don't feel like I can. I experienced the gravity of hope in my most recent life journey that I have regularly referenced. I can't imagine having tried to walk this season of my life without the Lord and the hope I have in Him. I am utterly baffled how people go through life without this hope. What's my hope in? I hope in the Lord, that He has redeemed me, that I will be with Him and experience His love forever, that my future is in Glory and whatever I go through on earth is worth it in comparison, that He can do the same for others, that He has a specific plan for my life and I'm not just a bumbling idiot, etc. "My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness" (throwback moment). Anyway, I place my hope in Jesus, and THAT HOPE is what drives me in this life. In the good times and bad!

Paul has something to say about this mindset of selling out to Christ and receiving this hope: "If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men." 1 Corinthians 15:19. That means that if, when life is over and I have completely wasted my time believing in and giving my life up for this Jesus and this is all just a feel good story, then I should be pitied more than any other person who has ever journeyed this life. The good news is that this Jesus isn't a feel good story. This Jesus is real. This Jesus is keeping me going and providing hope for my life. I'll spare you what I feel to be a lengthy "sermon" coming on.

Anyway, in my conversation with my friend, I was struck with this thought: What do those who have not experienced Jesus hope for or place their hope in? Money? Family? People? Fame? I was baffled. I CANNOT imagine continuing to live my life without the hope that Jesus provides for me...especially if I was to hope in something other than Him. Every one of those things has failed me before, but the Lord...He never fails. I am grateful.

Hopefully this made sense. Just something to think about, and count your blessings for. I got much love for you...

The Israelites and Me

2009-10-16T17:23:00.000-07:00

This week has been crazy busy. I've been doing what I do best: procrastination. This week it caught up with me. I had an Old Testament project due today at 5:00pm, and the professor, as well as those who have had the class before, said to make sure NOT to wait until the week of the due date to start. I waited till the week of to start. Needless to say, this week was nuts. I have been absolutely immersed in the Pentateuch, which is the first five books of the Old Testament. I have been reading about mankind's constant inclination toward sin and away from God, and how God must provide a means of redemption for the people. There is a constant cycle of it. In the midst of my immersion in the study of these people and their relating to God, I found myself absolutely dismayed at their stupidity. How many times is God going to have to shake up their lives to get their attention and focus back on him? I was frustrated at them.

I finished writing last night around 10:30pm and turned on the TV. I recall feeling the frustration of having to write about how dumb the Israelites were, and how it was a constant cycle with them. Minutes later the Holy Spirit was rocking my heart as I realized I had just engaged in sin and needed to repent. As I did so, I was reminded of the fact that my life is EXACTLY like the life of the frustrating Israelites. I had just finished being frustrated with them about their constantly turning their back on the Lord, and then I did the exact same thing. That's lame. I was broken over the way I live my life.

Romans 7:21-25 says, "So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin."

I hate that my life is exactly like the pattern of the Israelites to turn from the Lord. I hate the sin in my life. I hate that. I honestly want no part in sin, and then I found myself, in that moment last night, for example, engaged in that very thing. Lame. I hate the sin in my life.

I have a great sin problem. Thankfully I know a great Savior. Man do I need Him. Thanks be to God! I'm glad He's not finished with me yet.

I got much love for you...

Moses Got Me

2009-10-05T15:14:00.000-07:00

Today has largely been a day of reflecting (story of my life the past several weeks). In the reflecting, and my continued pursuit of the Lord and contentment with where I am (see my last post), the Lord brought a verse/passage of scripture to me that owned me.

Exodus 14:14
Moses and the Israelites have JUST gotten out of Egypt. They find out that the Egyptians are now in pursuit of them. The first thing they do is go to Moses and begin to complain. The people who were slaves just a few verses prior were now COMPLAINING about their current circumstances and the fact that things weren't going the way they wanted them to.

Moses response to them owned them, I'm sure, but it very much struck a chord with me because of where I am in life. Exodus 14:14 says, "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." A very present reminder that I'm not in charge of the future. What I can do right now is just be in tune with the Lord. My pursuit is to continue to get to know, love and grow in knowledge of Him in this time. Not try to figure things out. Not be in control. Not plan. Just be still.

I'm loving that He sent that message to me today.

My posts are getting more regular. Life is coming back to me. He's not finished with me, yet. Much love...

Wait and See

2009-10-04T20:30:00.000-07:00

As is often the case, the Lord is using some song lyrics to communicate some truth into my life.
Brandon Heath lyrics:

"There is hope for me yet
Because God won’t forget
All the plans he’s made for me
I have to wait and see
He’s not finished with me yet

Still wondering why I’m here
Still wrestling with my fear
But oh, He’s up to something
And the farther on I go
I’ve seen enough to know
That I’m, not here for nothing
He’s up to something"
-Wait and See

I have spent a good bit of my life trying to figure out what the Lord is doing in my life, and what's He's doing next for me. Let me clarify: looking ahead is not always bad because we do need to continue to seek where God is leading, but looking ahead must be done in moderation. I spent high school, my time at Auburn, and my time up to this point at seminary solely looking ahead. I have been trying to figure out what the Lord is doing with me, where I will end up, what I will be, who I will be with, etc. In doing so, I have been missing the here and now. I am hoping to be able to graduate next December, and at this point, I have no idea where God will lead me or what He will have me doing. I am getting myself to a point where I am ok with that.

This song serves as a reminder that I need to find contentment in where I am now. Don't push. Don't shove. There is hope for how I end up, and that my time here, as I am, is not wasted. God knows the plans He has for me. There are lessons I need to learn now. There are people I need to invest in now. There are places I need to go now. And so on. God has me here for a reason, and I need to be content in learning and growing as I am. He's up to something.

Sinking Sand

2009-09-30T09:08:00.000-07:00

Just a heads up: this post is a cheesy moment that I had with the Lord, and decided to share. The background: I was flipping my pictures on my phone during Ethics this morning. I saw this picture, got a good laugh, and the Lord really reminded me of some things in my life:

This is a picture of one of the two vans my team from this past summer at camp where given to get us around from place to place. Obviously, this van was not going anywhere. This picture was taken after our Director, the Mr. Bud Harlan, decided to drive the van through the sandy spot instead of staying on the pavement. This was at one of our Florida locations (Lake Yale). I made sure to let Bud know how much of a dummy I thought he was for doing this.

As I got a good laugh from looking at this picture this morning, the Lord really reminded me of how this picture is often times a picture of my life, unfortunately. Too many times I try to play around with sin, instead of taking sin (which only leads to my destruction) seriously. This photo could easily serve as the state of my life a couple months ago. I had become so lackadaisical (I just used that word) toward sin, that I had toyed with it enough that I was flat out sunk. Much like me, Bud and Pletcher thought we could sit and dig this beast out, I, too, thought I could handle my dabbling in this sin myself. I thought I could "manage" my dabbling enough that I would be ok. This proved very untrue.

In my life, I had to get to the point where I was utterly dependent on the Lord for my rescue. I was sunk in my sin, and only the Lord was big enough to pull me out. While I don't deserve anything but destruction for my sin (and I certainly am and will pay the consequences for my decisions of disobedience), the Lord being rich in mercy and having great love for me, rescued me from the pit. He pulled me out, much like Bud had to humbly ask the grounds crew at Lake Yale to bring a tractor and chain to yank our van out of the sand.

Furthermore, I was left with this thought: What are some of the other areas in my life in which I'm stupid enough to think I can dabble in sin and survive? I'm thankful for funny moments of camp (especially when I don't do something stupid to cause them)! I'm also thankful that the Lord can use crazy things to communicate His truths in my life. The bottom line: don't think you can dabble in sin and get away with it...SIN will SINK you.

Much love...

No. Not one.

2009-09-28T17:15:00.000-07:00

The song "No Not One" by Christy Nockells/Brandon Heath has been doing some work in my life lately. Really it's the truth behind the song and some of my dealings with the Holy Spirit. Anyway, mad props to Allen and Julie because they are the ones that got me listening to it. If you haven't heard Heath's or Nockells version, hit it up. I enjoy it.

That being said, there is one line in the song that I have taken a great deal of encouragement and comfort in (bear in mind that I'm still in a depressed state lately, but I can see extremely tangible ways the Lord is bringing me out of this state). From this song, there is a line that reads 'there has never been a name above, no not one'. (For the record, this is obviously referring to the name of Jesus, and the fact that there is no name above that name.) So why is that such a revolutionary idea?

It reminds me of the greatness of the God I serve. There has never been a name above the name of my great God. "I AM". You can't beat that. This is cause for great rejoicing for me. As I have mentioned in a previous post, I am in a beautiful season with the Lord right now. This makes the fact that God is above everything that much sweeter for me. Furthermore, I believe this is where the church is falling short in its love for the Lord and for people. Ponder the names of God. I did this only briefly (I may or may not have taken a moment during this past Sunday morning's sermon), but in that brief time, the many names of the Lord rushed into my head and I knew I had only scratched the surface. Now ponder the many characteristics of the Lord. That should only take a few hours. Now ponder the attributes of God. All of these things comprise who God is and what He is to me, how He interacts with me, and how He displays his love for me (and everyone else).

I'm convinced that if the church could get herself in a position to ponder these things...truly ponder...she MUST be compelled to respond. This is in my opinion what is wrong with the church today....that's completely off topic, but I have been having an ongoing discussion with a few people about that. If and when I ever pastor a church, I feel like we will have a year long sermon series on who God is...there will be much to cover in a year! There has never been a name above. No. Not one.

Much love...

Here it is

2009-09-13T14:57:00.000-07:00

So it's been a minute since I gave a good blog. The reason for that is a complete change taking place in life. To keep a long story short, the Lord is very much at work in my life. For me to go into full detail of what has been happening the past month in my life, would take SEVERAL lengthy blog posts. That being said, I am in a place in my life that I've never been in before...and it's weird. That being said, while I wouldn't have necessarily picked to be here, the Lord has been very sweet to me lately. In fact, the journey I am currently on with the Lord is unlike any previous in my life. I am unbelievably grateful to the Lord for meeting me in the train-wrecked place that I have been. Furthermore, I am unbelievably grateful to my friends for prayers and support like I have never experienced before. And a shout-out to my momma! It has been through the Lord and his using my friends and Mom to bring to where I am now. So where am I? I'm still not sure, but I'm on the up and up.

A friend gave me some lyrics that I'm liking: "This is where you are. Don't push. Don't shove."

What I will do now is completely undervalue the things the Lord has been teaching me by listing them, in order that I can get them all out. There is very much a possibility that some of these themes will be further addressed in later posts and later times in life, but this is the list (there's a good chance that none of this will make sense to you...embrace that and trust me):

Life is about knowing God (like truly knowing Him when we flat out deserve the opposite). I am the example of the opposite of someone who deserves to know God. I hate the sin in my life. I am in disbelief of the Lord's love. If you seek God, He will meet with you. Our God is jealous for us. His Kingdom is unshakable. I always said I would abandon things in my life if the Lord desired, and He has put that to the test. I'm hoping I've been found true to my word (despite the difficulty). People will fail, but God will not. God is my master, and I ENJOY being His servant. I don't know what's next, and that's just fine. I do have commitment issues, and it's possible those will be worse. God will provide amazing amounts of grace if and when you beg. I will struggle to trust the people in certain relationships in my life. I will have a heart scar (once I finish healing), but I know the Lord redeems the ugly (thankfully). I am fully defined in Christ. My trust in the Lord has grown. I am all but certain that there are others, but none are coming to mind.

Other news: the Lord is continuing to remind me of my love for preaching. I have been twice to FBC Covington, LA and I really like it. I am losing weight.

Sorry for how ridiculous this post has been. There has been A TON that I have wanted to say, but due to a plethora of reasons, I haven't posted...thus the information vomit of a post. I will try to do better. I hope this post finds you all doing well. Much love...

Ruined...

2009-08-24T18:17:00.000-07:00

Here's a song that's resonating with my heart right now. Basically this is where I am with the Lord. I am walking a path in life currently, which I won't go into detail about right now, that nobody likes to walk on...I think I am in the process of being refined, but the refiner's fire sure hurts. You can start to expect more frequent posts. I am home from camp, and about to become bored and overwhelmed with school. Anyway, here's the song:

Woe to me I am unclean
A sinner found in Your presence
I see you seated on Your throne
Exalted, Your Glory surrounds You

Now the plans that I have made
Fail to compare when I see your glory

Ruin my life the plans I have made
Ruin desires for my own selfish gain
Destroy the idols that have taken Your place
'Till it's You alone I live for,
You alone I live for.

Holy Holy is the Lord Almighty
Holy is the Lord!
-Ruin, by Jeff Johnson

The Lord is good. My time with Him during this season will be sweet...on the other side.
Much love...

Chillin with Gus

2009-07-25T11:36:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the Lord uses random moments to remind me of Him and His love, which in turn causes me to be overwhelmed with love for Him. Today, I am sitting in the coffee shop at Skycroft with Gus, listening to some Kari Jobe and Hillsong and just talking about the Lord. Good stuff. Gus loves the Lord, and I love that about Gus.

2 weeks of camp left. Ministry to be done for sure. Life beginning to show its face in the midst of the ministry.

I got much love for you...

The Beach

2009-06-21T20:22:00.001-07:00

Let me start off by saying that I would prefer to go to the mountains on a vacation than a beach any day of the week. However, I will admit that today the beach won my excitement for the moment. Today our team got to spend about 1 1/2ish hours just hanging out at the beach. Some swam, some laid around, some got a sea urchin thrown into the back of their head and some did the throwing. The team needed that. We needed a moment to not worry about camp, travel, logistics or where we were going to eat. And the Lord provided that opportunity.

I was reminded while we were there that sometimes, at least in my life, I begin to think about what I'm doing for the Lord and how I think it does not look so good. For example, what a good or a bad location for camp would look like. The beach/ocean reminded me of a truth that I need to hang on to more frequently than I do: Why worry about what the Lord's work looks like, just enjoy what He is doing. Personally I have been a little frustrated with the setup of our current location of camp. The bottom line of it though: the Lord wants camp done at this location, this week or else we wouldn't be here.

Sometimes I need to stop trying to figure out how to make the Lord's work happen, and just enjoy the Lord's design for things. This came as my team and I enjoyed the Lord's design for the earth, including the Atlantic Ocean.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Camp

2009-06-19T21:43:00.000-07:00

Sorry it's been awhile. I hate to keep both of my readers waiting. Let me say very quickly (because it is 12:45am where I am and I need to be in bed already) that the Lord is moving at camp...both weeks! We saw 14 first time commitments to Christ in week 1, followed by 16 first time in week 2. That's not to mention all the other decisions and workings that the Lord did that I am unable to quantify. Can I just say the Lord is good? 30 kids that will be able to know God forever blows my mind.

Here's the hard part about it: me. I do not in any form or fashion deserve the job I have as camp pastor this summer. I stand on stage at camp and let everyone in the room know about Jesus...and I LOVE THAT! The problem is that I am so unworthy to be a part of what the Lord is doing, that it gets to me. I will admit that the overwhelming feelings did not come till much later in week 2's Thursday night because I simply just had to worship, rejoice, laugh, hug, and glorying in God's presence with the staff. However, most nights it takes me a long time after worship to "process" what just occurred and what the Lord did.

Bottom line: I am so unworthy to be a part of the Lord's work. However, I am chosen for this summer to do so. "All that I can do is give it back to You!"

I got much love for you...

Cafe Maspero

2009-05-14T18:57:00.000-07:00

Since I am leaving New Orleans for the summer on Saturday, I wanted to be sure to hit up my favorite restaurants to tide me over for the summer. What better way to do that than to get a catfish sandwich at Cafe Maspero:

I fully believe it is hard to beat that sandwich. I just wanted to share with you all the goodness that I was able to experience tonight. Yum! Hope you are all well!

Much love...

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

The Red Letter Version

2009-05-13T20:24:00.000-07:00

For those of you who may be unaware, I work at LifeWay Christian Bookstore to bring home the bacon during seminary. One thing that is not uncommon is for me to deal with Bibles. Questions of all forms and fashions, e.g. "Do you sell the Holy King James Version? I don't want any of these new versions like the International version, NIV, HIV (HAHA!!), and what not. I want the good ole King James!" (I feel like this is especially made worse because I live in New Orleans, but that's a different story altogether.

Here's the most recent annoyance I have experienced at work:

At first, this may seem like any other red letter bible (putting the words of Jesus in red). This Bible is not the same though. This is a Jimmy Swaggart Bible (if you don't recognize the dummy's name, google it.). The reason this Bible isn't the same is because, if you'll notice where the red letters in this Bible occur in Isaiah (and throughout the entire Bible). That's because Jimmy has put his own words in red, instead of Christ. In fact, the portion of the New Testament (Matthew) that I looked at did not even have Jesus' words in quotations. Only Jimmy's words are worth anything, at least according to him. I beg to differ.

Jimmy Swaggart annoys me.

Joel Osteen is scum between my toes.

The Life and Times of Bible Imprints at LifeWay Christian Bookstore.

Much love to you...

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Freedom!

2009-05-12T22:46:00.000-07:00

There is such a renewed zeal for life at the completion of a semester. The moment I complete the last final is such a freeing moment for me. I truly feel like I am free, despite knowing full well that I will be returning to such "slavery" in just a matter of months. But still, I'm free.

The Lord (possibly just gas) reminded me the moment I clicked submit to turn in my final project online of Galatians 5:1, "For FREEDOM Christ has set us free!..." The reason Jesus did what he did, is for the very purpose that I can feel freedom. Do not mistake me for fully equating the freedom I have from a semester-long of intense classwork and education because the two are incomparable. What excites me is that this freedom that I feel, is the exact reason that Jesus suffered like He did.

Furthermore (used that word several times in my most recent turn-in) Galatians 5:1 says, "For FREEDOM Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do no SUBMIT again to the yoke of slavery. Not only did Christ die so that we can experience the glorious feelings of freedom, but so that we never again have to feel the oppression of sin. Granted, being that we are sinful beings we will, but because of what Christ did, we don't have to. We will be making the choice not to be able to experience freedom. You gotta love it.

I'm loving my freedom. I'm loving Jesus more. I am very thankful for the feeling of freedom, and the way Jesus reminds me of things like that through everyday things.

Prayer requests: please be lifting me up as I continue to polish off the sermons God has given me and for my ministry at camp this summer. You (if there is anybody) are great.

Much love...

My New Phone

2009-05-06T19:03:00.000-07:00

That's right ladies and gentlemen. I have just entered the world of cool, and Meagan said so herself. I bought myself a Blackberry Storm. I have had it all of 5 hours, so the newness is still very much there. I must give a mad shout out to Verizon for a having a BOGO (Buy One Get One) sale. It's all because of them that my phone is possible. My brother and I decided to go in together to get us some new phones, although he didn't get the same kind I did.

So why does this matter to you? Well there probably isn't a whole lot of interest from you. Honestly I didn't post this simply to brag to you about my phone. I might try to do that once I fully figure out how to use it. No I post this to let you know to be watching out for more blogs in the future. One reason I was having trouble blogging much is because, at least in my opinion, having a picture to look at is worth a thousand words (that will save me a lot of typing). So start tuning in more frequently. I'm becoming even more technology savvy. Get excited world.

Much love...

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Busy

2009-04-01T07:40:00.000-07:00

I was excited when I re-started my blog again. I was excited about being able to express my thoughts and ideas, however ridiculous they may be, with the entirety of the world - or the two people who may stumble into this blog. The problem I have found is that to sit and create a "blog" takes time. Time is something this semester that I have had little to NO free time this semester. Thus the title of my blog - busy.

What makes me so busy? Well for starters, I am a full time graduate student. This fact alone consumes a good bit of my time. Secondly I have more responsibility at work than last year. This pretty much translates to this equation: store open + Tyler not in class = Tyler at store. This equation removes some of the free time I had last year. Finally, and I'm not saying this is a bad thing, I have acquired a special companion. Meagan gets the best of the remaining time I have to offer. The sum total of time required to fulfill the commitments of this paragraph actually equates to more than the amount of hours in a week.

My struggle is this: I am struggling in the realm of time. I anticipate a brief vacation this coming weekend to Gulf Shores with the Wilkes. I am ultra excited to have some time to get away and just do pretty much nothing. I am just getting over a pretty vicious cold, which has caused me to be laying around doing nothing.

All this summed together means that I am desperately longing for some quality time with the Lord. I give my best effort to find time to sit and study and talk, but minutes are few. I try to spend a good amount of time loving on those around me and ministering to them, even if that means just trying to share a laugh at work or listen to someone ramble in class, etc. Beyond that, I long for some true time with the Lord. As camp approaches, the necessity of my abiding in Him is becoming increasingly evident. I am having trouble getting prayed up for this summer because I don't have time to be fully prayed up on the current events of my life.

This is a weak blog moment, and I recognize that. This is my plea for prayer from all 2 of you. I would love it. Pray for my daily life. My relationship with Jesus. My relationships with people. Camp coming up and all related prep work. My family. School work. I got nothing but much love for you, so your prayers are greatly appreciated.

Much love...

CK5

2009-03-02T15:16:00.000-08:00

So I'm rolling CK5 this summer. Here's my summer schedule:

Training stuff: Campbellsville, KY May24-June3

Week 1-2: Lake Yale, June 8-12 (Florida)

Week 3: Eckerd College June 22-26 (Florida)

Week 4: off week. party time.

Week 5: Eagle Eyrie June 6-10 (Virginia)

Week 6-9: Skycroft June 13-Aug 7 (Maryland)

Prepare to send me some love.

Much love...

This is the Day

2009-02-18T08:02:00.000-08:00

"This is the day that the Lord has made; let us REJOICE and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24.

How many times have you heard that verse? Roughly 1,247, give or take, maybe? I think we all have no problems ascribing to the idea that the present day is one the Lord has made. Today, yesterday and tomorrow are the Lord's doing. How else would we exist if the Lord hadn't created the world, the things in it, and the chronological thing called "time", we know as days. (Ponder the idea that the Lord is not constrained by "time", and that should lead you to your knees. But that's neither here nor there in this post.)

The part that rocked my world a few days ago is the single word 'rejoice' that the Psalmist includes in this verse. According to m-w.com, "to feel joy or great delight". We are to feel joy/GREAT delight in the days we wake up and simply exist. This got my wheels turning for sure. Which day are we to rejoice in? This day. Which day is 'this day'? Well that's going to be EVERY day. Whoa! Mad props to you, if you're living that one out. Every day should provide us with joy/great delight! Every day is a day that the Lord has made, and is continuing to carry out His purpose and mission in the world. Every day is an opportunity for us to worship him for creating days, for allowing us to be a minute fragment of His plan. God is moving and today is a day for me to rejoice in that fact and have opportunity to join him!

This left me pondering the application and how it should effect my life. Being a student, there are few days that I wake up rejoicing, and I'm not saying that this verse means we should always be happy-go-lucky because there is obviously pain and suffering in this world. That should mean that I need to be more aware of the joy that exists within me because of the Lord. I guess the verse struck me (the Word has the uncanny ability to do that to me). I have so far to go before I'll look like Jesus.

Hope your world is well. I'd love to hear about it.

Mad love...

Song on the Heart

2009-02-11T08:15:00.000-08:00

Here's the lyrics of a song that's been resonating with me the past few days:

"Take my life and let it be
Consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days,
Let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands and let them move
At the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet and let them be
Swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice and let me sing
Always, only for my King.
Take my lips and let them be
Filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold
Not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect and use
Every power as You choose.

Take my will and make it Thine
It shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart it is Thine own
It shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord I pour
At Your feet it's treasure store
Take myself and I will be
Ever, only, all for Thee.
Take myself and I will be
Ever, only, all for Thee."

I suppose you could call it my prayer for now. Honestly, I would love it if this song poetically summed my life. I hope you don't mind me posting lyrics. Song lyrics are big with me, so I will likely post them every now and then. Hope all is well is your world!

Much love...

I Know So Very Little

2009-02-10T21:36:00.000-08:00

So I am in my 4th semester at seminary. As I just finished up some reading for a class making up my 4th semester at seminary, I felt struck by the fact that I have no idea where the Lord is leading me. I get excited in talking with many of my classmates and peers about their very definitive calling. I have heard the stories of seasoned veterans in the ministry knowing from the get go what their calling was, and that excites me.

....then there is this young preacher boy. Let me interject that I am in no way fearful because I haven't the foggiest idea of the specific calling the Lord has placed on my life. What I am saying is that I suppose sometimes my excitement overtakes me. In being overtaken with wonder and curiosity I get to the point where I just want to know what specifically it is the Lord is prepping me here at seminary for (never end a sentence with a preposition). It is in these moments that I struggle to remain content. I'm happy with my classes this semester, my job, friendships, etc., but I'm itching to catch the ever elusive glimpse into the future.

Lately I have been thinking that maybe, just maybe, the Lord is leading me to be a pastor. Eeek! That's scary enough as it is. I have a hard enough time picturing myself being used for anything productive, let alone a pastor. Before I lead you to believe anything, I should mention that I am currently taking a class called Pastoral Ministry, so that could have something to do with my thoughts being focused in that direction. Anyway, today I was struck with a disheartening reality: I know so very little. This likely comes as a shocker to most of you who really know me, as many of you constantly rave about my intelligence, wit, overall wonder, etc. (I hope you have caught the EXTREME sarcasm). The fact of the matter remains, that whatever the Lord calls me to do, Tyler Crosson will be expected to shepherd a flock (the members/age of the flock are what remain in question). You might be thinking, good thing you're at seminary then! My response, if you haven't heard it from me before, is that the more I learn here at seminary, the more I learn that I don't know and have so much yet to learn.

This leaves me right where I hope the Lord desires me: craving His guidance and leadership in recognition that any attempt on my part with end with utter failure...craving His Word. Thus my being struck today with my inability and lack of knowledge led me to the point of stopping, taking a breath, and being satisfied to run even harder after the Good Shepherd (John 10:14). Mad props to the Lord for being sovereign and in control!

I would love to hear your thoughts, and I do have a comments section to enable you to do so. There is no need to mock me for being an idiot. :)

Much love...

I Set Myself on Fire

2009-02-08T15:33:00.000-08:00

Many of you may be reading this post to see exactly what I meant by saying that I set myself on fire. You're probably thinking it is some sort of ridiculous gimmick to get you to read this post, which is partially true. I thought about naming this post "Tyler's Day in Bizarre-O World". Obviously, however, I went the "setting myself on fire" route. Before you stop reading this post, let me go ahead and inform you that this is not a typical day in my life...but it sure makes a good read now that it's over. Here's how the day went:

Yesterday I got to sleep in late before having to go to work. I went to work about 1:30p, to dominate my shift and shut the store down at 5:30p. About midway through the shift, I was checking out a lady, who, before the craziness she created, was strange enough in and of herself. Anyway, she approached my register ready to check out. As I was ringing her up, she started into these bizarre coughs. I though she was about to hock up a major wad of snot. She was bent over and really getting into these coughs. My co-worker/friend Meagan, handed her a trash can to assist with the ejection of said snot. What happened next caught me off guard. She began throwing up into the trash can...in my checkout line...with a checkout line on either side of her (for the record: the people in the other lines acted like business as usual and didn't even think twice about the woman puking in the middle of the store). It was disgusting. After she hurled a few times, the exact number escapes me, she handed the trash can back to me. I asked if she was alright. Her response was something to the effect of something had upset her stomach. Her next question added to the strangeness of the already unusual day. She looked at me with intent focus and desire and said, "Can I have an application?" I was shocked. I've never had a day like that one at LifeWay.

After those events, I decided that I need an awesome dinner because of the crazy day. These types of days are rare, so I decided to go all out with it. I went to The Melting Pot. Expensive and amazing. This was the sight of the next event of the Bizzare-O Day. We were to the main course of the meal, and I decided to drop in a peace of broccoli to cook in between some of the meats I was fonduing. I went to fish the peace of broccoli out with the spoon and set it on my plate. In setting the broccoli on my plate, I burnt my arm. I was thinking about how hot it was when it dawned on me: my arm is not touching the broccoli, so why would the broccoli be burning my arm? I looked down to inspect my arm, and lo and behold there was in fact a massive flame that was engulfing my arm.

This moment in my life was one of those times in life where everything seems to go in slow motion. I had a million brief thoughts go through my brain: this is really hot...how did my shirt catch on fire...this is hot....was it the broccoli that caused this...this is hot...did the fondue pot set me on fire...this is hot....i need to put this out somehow....this is hot...this will make a great story...this is hot...this shirt is ruined...this is hot...how many people will have a story like this...this is hot...PUT OUT YOUR FLAMING ARM!! So I patted out the fire. It was hot, but I didn't get burned badly...just pinked. As my arm smoked and smoldered, I realized that what must have happened was a bad approach to fishing out the broccoli. Let me make clear that I have no idea what happened, but I do have a best guess: In fishing out the broccoli, I must have dangled my arm over the flame of the table's candle, which consequently lit my shirt on fire.

Just so you all know, I did continue on with a delicious meal. The story gives me a great laugh every time I think about it. This shirt didn't survive the fire. It was burnt enough that I threw it away as soon as I got home. Well that's all I've got for now. I hope this finds you well.

Much love...

The First Post

2009-01-30T20:06:00.000-08:00

I have felt the desire recently to start blogging again. Here's the background story: I used to post some blogs in undergrad, but it slowly died off. Nobody ever really read it, and I don't really foresee many people reading this one either, but I guess my purpose for doing this at this point is for personal reflection. I can process thoughts a little better to write them, obviously being able to type, read and reflect on these thoughts will just help me process life a little better. At least that's the goal. I make no promises on the frequency of my posts. I make no promises about the quality of reading this will provide. Basically, this could be a total bore for you to read, and I'm ok with that because I'm really just doing this more for fun than entertainment. That being said, if you have the motivation to read the blog, I would ask for your thoughts, comments, differing opinions, etc. Don't be the guy that just reads and never says anything. Step up to the plate!

To lay the foundation, here's the basic general information of where I am right now in life:

-I love the Lord Jesus.

-I'm in my 4th semester at NOBTS, and it just started. I am not a fan of classes.

-no idea of the specific ministry that God is calling me to, but I'm ok with that.

-I have become very fond of the ministry of camp.

-I don't see my friends as much as I wish I could.

-I work at a bookstore.

I think that will suffice for now. This is the very general overview of where my life is right now, but these 6 things will play a heavy role in what comes from my mind into this blog. I hope this first post finds you well, and I do hope that you will check back occasionally to see what's going on.

Much love...