This week has been crazy busy. I've been doing what I do best: procrastination. This week it caught up with me. I had an Old Testament project due today at 5:00pm, and the professor, as well as those who have had the class before, said to make sure NOT to wait until the week of the due date to start. I waited till the week of to start. Needless to say, this week was nuts. I have been absolutely immersed in the Pentateuch, which is the first five books of the Old Testament. I have been reading about mankind's constant inclination toward sin and away from God, and how God must provide a means of redemption for the people. There is a constant cycle of it. In the midst of my immersion in the study of these people and their relating to God, I found myself absolutely dismayed at their stupidity. How many times is God going to have to shake up their lives to get their attention and focus back on him? I was frustrated at them.
I finished writing last night around 10:30pm and turned on the TV. I recall feeling the frustration of having to write about how dumb the Israelites were, and how it was a constant cycle with them. Minutes later the Holy Spirit was rocking my heart as I realized I had just engaged in sin and needed to repent. As I did so, I was reminded of the fact that my life is EXACTLY like the life of the frustrating Israelites. I had just finished being frustrated with them about their constantly turning their back on the Lord, and then I did the exact same thing. That's lame. I was broken over the way I live my life.
Romans 7:21-25 says, "So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin."
I hate that my life is exactly like the pattern of the Israelites to turn from the Lord. I hate the sin in my life. I hate that. I honestly want no part in sin, and then I found myself, in that moment last night, for example, engaged in that very thing. Lame. I hate the sin in my life.
I have a great sin problem. Thankfully I know a great Savior. Man do I need Him. Thanks be to God! I'm glad He's not finished with me yet.
I got much love for you...
Someone told me the Bible should be titled "They Wouldn't Listen" haha. I laughed at that, but I also understand it. How many times in my life have I "not listened"?
ReplyDeleteOne thing that rocks me about the OT is that God never gave up on them. So many times His heart was broken for the people He created and loved. So many times He was disgusted with their sin and idolatry, literally repulsed by their sin. Countless times...He said He was gonna end it all, and be rid of humanity...but His love overcame His grief and pain. The love He has for us far out weighs our sin, and not just one person's sin...but the all the sin of the all the people in the world for all time. Wow.
I love Him. I love that He doesn't give up on us; that He reached far beyond the frustration and pain of life and let His love for us reign. I love that He gave us His Spirit to teach us and guide us, and that He made it all worth it through Jesus.
Let us not forget how much we depend on Him. Let us not forget those who feel like they are beyond the reaches of His grace. Let us be His hands and feet.