A Life's Secret

I am about to let you in on a little secret I've been keeping for some time. This secret comes about from my continuing to pursue the Lord and trying to figure out what His desire for my life is. If you let it get out...well, really nothing would happen. I spent some time in a special spot on campus with the Lord tonight. This is a secret that literally made a strange watery substance form in my eyes tonight (for the record, nothing came out of my eyeballs...just a moisture build up). This is a secret that I am really building up, but I really doubt you'll have much interest. Here it is:

I feel totally incapable of fulfilling the call the Lord has placed on my life. That's it. I feel like there are a bunch of people that I am aware of that would be way better at the call than me. I feel like I am not qualified. I feel like I do not deserve it. I feel incapable. Unworthy. Insufficient. Scared.

I have spent months praying for the Lord to give me a no in regards to pursuing this call. Don't get me wrong, what I believe the Lord is doing in my life, I am extremely passionate and excited about. However, I feel like there was no way that the Lord would be calling me in that direction. So like I said, I have been praying for the Lord to give me a no in response to this. I wasn't praying for His will, I was praying what I thought was His answer. I also tried to make sure He was sure, and He wasn't dialing the wrong line. Once I decided to start praying for the Lord to make clear His will, that's when He called this wannabe to follow the call that is specifically mine.

So what do I do with my feelings of inadequacy? My plan is to rest in the Lord's grace. 2 Corinthians 2:9, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." I'm excited to see what the Lord is going to do with me. What's He doing in and with your life? I got much love for you...