I Know So Very Little

So I am in my 4th semester at seminary. As I just finished up some reading for a class making up my 4th semester at seminary, I felt struck by the fact that I have no idea where the Lord is leading me. I get excited in talking with many of my classmates and peers about their very definitive calling. I have heard the stories of seasoned veterans in the ministry knowing from the get go what their calling was, and that excites me.

....then there is this young preacher boy. Let me interject that I am in no way fearful because I haven't the foggiest idea of the specific calling the Lord has placed on my life. What I am saying is that I suppose sometimes my excitement overtakes me. In being overtaken with wonder and curiosity I get to the point where I just want to know what specifically it is the Lord is prepping me here at seminary for (never end a sentence with a preposition). It is in these moments that I struggle to remain content. I'm happy with my classes this semester, my job, friendships, etc., but I'm itching to catch the ever elusive glimpse into the future.

Lately I have been thinking that maybe, just maybe, the Lord is leading me to be a pastor. Eeek! That's scary enough as it is. I have a hard enough time picturing myself being used for anything productive, let alone a pastor. Before I lead you to believe anything, I should mention that I am currently taking a class called Pastoral Ministry, so that could have something to do with my thoughts being focused in that direction. Anyway, today I was struck with a disheartening reality: I know so very little. This likely comes as a shocker to most of you who really know me, as many of you constantly rave about my intelligence, wit, overall wonder, etc. (I hope you have caught the EXTREME sarcasm). The fact of the matter remains, that whatever the Lord calls me to do, Tyler Crosson will be expected to shepherd a flock (the members/age of the flock are what remain in question). You might be thinking, good thing you're at seminary then! My response, if you haven't heard it from me before, is that the more I learn here at seminary, the more I learn that I don't know and have so much yet to learn.

This leaves me right where I hope the Lord desires me: craving His guidance and leadership in recognition that any attempt on my part with end with utter failure...craving His Word. Thus my being struck today with my inability and lack of knowledge led me to the point of stopping, taking a breath, and being satisfied to run even harder after the Good Shepherd (John 10:14). Mad props to the Lord for being sovereign and in control!

I would love to hear your thoughts, and I do have a comments section to enable you to do so. There is no need to mock me for being an idiot. :)

Much love...