Sinking Sand

Just a heads up: this post is a cheesy moment that I had with the Lord, and decided to share. The background: I was flipping my pictures on my phone during Ethics this morning. I saw this picture, got a good laugh, and the Lord really reminded me of some things in my life:

This is a picture of one of the two vans my team from this past summer at camp where given to get us around from place to place. Obviously, this van was not going anywhere. This picture was taken after our Director, the Mr. Bud Harlan, decided to drive the van through the sandy spot instead of staying on the pavement. This was at one of our Florida locations (Lake Yale). I made sure to let Bud know how much of a dummy I thought he was for doing this.

As I got a good laugh from looking at this picture this morning, the Lord really reminded me of how this picture is often times a picture of my life, unfortunately. Too many times I try to play around with sin, instead of taking sin (which only leads to my destruction) seriously. This photo could easily serve as the state of my life a couple months ago. I had become so lackadaisical (I just used that word) toward sin, that I had toyed with it enough that I was flat out sunk. Much like me, Bud and Pletcher thought we could sit and dig this beast out, I, too, thought I could handle my dabbling in this sin myself. I thought I could "manage" my dabbling enough that I would be ok. This proved very untrue.

In my life, I had to get to the point where I was utterly dependent on the Lord for my rescue. I was sunk in my sin, and only the Lord was big enough to pull me out. While I don't deserve anything but destruction for my sin (and I certainly am and will pay the consequences for my decisions of disobedience), the Lord being rich in mercy and having great love for me, rescued me from the pit. He pulled me out, much like Bud had to humbly ask the grounds crew at Lake Yale to bring a tractor and chain to yank our van out of the sand.

Furthermore, I was left with this thought: What are some of the other areas in my life in which I'm stupid enough to think I can dabble in sin and survive? I'm thankful for funny moments of camp (especially when I don't do something stupid to cause them)! I'm also thankful that the Lord can use crazy things to communicate His truths in my life. The bottom line: don't think you can dabble in sin and get away with it...SIN will SINK you.

Much love...

No. Not one.

The song "No Not One" by Christy Nockells/Brandon Heath has been doing some work in my life lately. Really it's the truth behind the song and some of my dealings with the Holy Spirit. Anyway, mad props to Allen and Julie because they are the ones that got me listening to it. If you haven't heard Heath's or Nockells version, hit it up. I enjoy it.

That being said, there is one line in the song that I have taken a great deal of encouragement and comfort in (bear in mind that I'm still in a depressed state lately, but I can see extremely tangible ways the Lord is bringing me out of this state). From this song, there is a line that reads 'there has never been a name above, no not one'. (For the record, this is obviously referring to the name of Jesus, and the fact that there is no name above that name.) So why is that such a revolutionary idea?

It reminds me of the greatness of the God I serve. There has never been a name above the name of my great God. "I AM". You can't beat that. This is cause for great rejoicing for me. As I have mentioned in a previous post, I am in a beautiful season with the Lord right now. This makes the fact that God is above everything that much sweeter for me. Furthermore, I believe this is where the church is falling short in its love for the Lord and for people. Ponder the names of God. I did this only briefly (I may or may not have taken a moment during this past Sunday morning's sermon), but in that brief time, the many names of the Lord rushed into my head and I knew I had only scratched the surface. Now ponder the many characteristics of the Lord. That should only take a few hours. Now ponder the attributes of God. All of these things comprise who God is and what He is to me, how He interacts with me, and how He displays his love for me (and everyone else).

I'm convinced that if the church could get herself in a position to ponder these things...truly ponder...she MUST be compelled to respond. This is in my opinion what is wrong with the church today....that's completely off topic, but I have been having an ongoing discussion with a few people about that. If and when I ever pastor a church, I feel like we will have a year long sermon series on who God is...there will be much to cover in a year! There has never been a name above. No. Not one.

Much love...

Here it is

So it's been a minute since I gave a good blog. The reason for that is a complete change taking place in life. To keep a long story short, the Lord is very much at work in my life. For me to go into full detail of what has been happening the past month in my life, would take SEVERAL lengthy blog posts. That being said, I am in a place in my life that I've never been in before...and it's weird. That being said, while I wouldn't have necessarily picked to be here, the Lord has been very sweet to me lately. In fact, the journey I am currently on with the Lord is unlike any previous in my life. I am unbelievably grateful to the Lord for meeting me in the train-wrecked place that I have been. Furthermore, I am unbelievably grateful to my friends for prayers and support like I have never experienced before. And a shout-out to my momma! It has been through the Lord and his using my friends and Mom to bring to where I am now. So where am I? I'm still not sure, but I'm on the up and up.

A friend gave me some lyrics that I'm liking: "This is where you are. Don't push. Don't shove."

What I will do now is completely undervalue the things the Lord has been teaching me by listing them, in order that I can get them all out. There is very much a possibility that some of these themes will be further addressed in later posts and later times in life, but this is the list (there's a good chance that none of this will make sense to you...embrace that and trust me):

Life is about knowing God (like truly knowing Him when we flat out deserve the opposite). I am the example of the opposite of someone who deserves to know God. I hate the sin in my life. I am in disbelief of the Lord's love. If you seek God, He will meet with you. Our God is jealous for us. His Kingdom is unshakable. I always said I would abandon things in my life if the Lord desired, and He has put that to the test. I'm hoping I've been found true to my word (despite the difficulty). People will fail, but God will not. God is my master, and I ENJOY being His servant. I don't know what's next, and that's just fine. I do have commitment issues, and it's possible those will be worse. God will provide amazing amounts of grace if and when you beg. I will struggle to trust the people in certain relationships in my life. I will have a heart scar (once I finish healing), but I know the Lord redeems the ugly (thankfully). I am fully defined in Christ. My trust in the Lord has grown. I am all but certain that there are others, but none are coming to mind.

Other news: the Lord is continuing to remind me of my love for preaching. I have been twice to FBC Covington, LA and I really like it. I am losing weight.

Sorry for how ridiculous this post has been. There has been A TON that I have wanted to say, but due to a plethora of reasons, I haven't posted...thus the information vomit of a post. I will try to do better. I hope this post finds you all doing well. Much love...

Ruined...

Here's a song that's resonating with my heart right now. Basically this is where I am with the Lord. I am walking a path in life currently, which I won't go into detail about right now, that nobody likes to walk on...I think I am in the process of being refined, but the refiner's fire sure hurts. You can start to expect more frequent posts. I am home from camp, and about to become bored and overwhelmed with school. Anyway, here's the song:

Woe to me I am unclean
A sinner found in Your presence
I see you seated on Your throne
Exalted, Your Glory surrounds You

Now the plans that I have made
Fail to compare when I see your glory

Ruin my life the plans I have made
Ruin desires for my own selfish gain
Destroy the idols that have taken Your place
'Till it's You alone I live for,
You alone I live for.

Holy Holy is the Lord Almighty
Holy is the Lord!
-Ruin, by Jeff Johnson

The Lord is good. My time with Him during this season will be sweet...on the other side.
Much love...

Chillin with Gus

Sometimes the Lord uses random moments to remind me of Him and His love, which in turn causes me to be overwhelmed with love for Him. Today, I am sitting in the coffee shop at Skycroft with Gus, listening to some Kari Jobe and Hillsong and just talking about the Lord. Good stuff. Gus loves the Lord, and I love that about Gus.

2 weeks of camp left. Ministry to be done for sure. Life beginning to show its face in the midst of the ministry.

I got much love for you...

The Beach

Let me start off by saying that I would prefer to go to the mountains on a vacation than a beach any day of the week. However, I will admit that today the beach won my excitement for the moment. Today our team got to spend about 1 1/2ish hours just hanging out at the beach. Some swam, some laid around, some got a sea urchin thrown into the back of their head and some did the throwing. The team needed that. We needed a moment to not worry about camp, travel, logistics or where we were going to eat. And the Lord provided that opportunity.

I was reminded while we were there that sometimes, at least in my life, I begin to think about what I'm doing for the Lord and how I think it does not look so good. For example, what a good or a bad location for camp would look like. The beach/ocean reminded me of a truth that I need to hang on to more frequently than I do: Why worry about what the Lord's work looks like, just enjoy what He is doing. Personally I have been a little frustrated with the setup of our current location of camp. The bottom line of it though: the Lord wants camp done at this location, this week or else we wouldn't be here.

Sometimes I need to stop trying to figure out how to make the Lord's work happen, and just enjoy the Lord's design for things. This came as my team and I enjoyed the Lord's design for the earth, including the Atlantic Ocean.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Camp

Sorry it's been awhile. I hate to keep both of my readers waiting. Let me say very quickly (because it is 12:45am where I am and I need to be in bed already) that the Lord is moving at camp...both weeks! We saw 14 first time commitments to Christ in week 1, followed by 16 first time in week 2. That's not to mention all the other decisions and workings that the Lord did that I am unable to quantify. Can I just say the Lord is good? 30 kids that will be able to know God forever blows my mind.

Here's the hard part about it: me. I do not in any form or fashion deserve the job I have as camp pastor this summer. I stand on stage at camp and let everyone in the room know about Jesus...and I LOVE THAT! The problem is that I am so unworthy to be a part of what the Lord is doing, that it gets to me. I will admit that the overwhelming feelings did not come till much later in week 2's Thursday night because I simply just had to worship, rejoice, laugh, hug, and glorying in God's presence with the staff. However, most nights it takes me a long time after worship to "process" what just occurred and what the Lord did.

Bottom line: I am so unworthy to be a part of the Lord's work. However, I am chosen for this summer to do so. "All that I can do is give it back to You!"

I got much love for you...